God comes down to scratch that

Here are my notes from the field trip this weekend:

730 pm Friday--

This is definitely a surreal experience. These kids are a trip and a half. They're so excited, and the driver's put on a mix CD so they're dancing in the aisles and up to 13 year old shenanigans. This could only get more interesting. I plan on documenting this with pictures and stream of consciousness entries. 

Our buses look like they were designed by the Thai Lisa Frank. I'm at the very front of the bus, sitting with Ami, which so far has been an interesting vantage point. I've got the big ass window view, but I am also unfortunately directly in front of the speaker, which has proved quite loud at points. Thank god for earplugs. And also thank god for ladyboys, because they will definitely be chief among my entertainment this weekend.  One of them has already donned a brunette wig and flower wreath.

This trip reminds me of my own to New York City when I was two years younger than these jokers. Only we weren't allowed to dance in the aisles then. 

830-- 

We're at song 23 of 38. Dear Lord these crazy children just pulled me into their dance party. There's a couple of them pushing me down into the rest, and the rest are cowering as I approach, because apparently my innocuous American dancing is not so innocuous here, and it makes some of them nervous. Funny what happens when you acknowledge that you have hips... I only just managed to escape, because we've now stopped at a gas station for a quick bathroom break. Oh Lord Jesus it's a fire.

1115--

All's quiet on the western front. We just finished watching a movie and I am amazed that the only sounds are the creaks and thumps and whooshes from the bus. Not even a whisper from these kids. They've just all accepted that it's sleepytime.

The movie we watched was of course entirely in Thai. It was a spoof of a famous Thai ghost story, Ami tells me. A Thai comedy group remade it, in essence. While I understood very few words, it was actually somewhat easy to follow plot-wise. I'd like to find it again sometime, I quite enjoyed it and if I could either find it subtitled or rewatch it once I understand more Thai I think that could be a thing.

The plot was this: the movie begins with a pregnant woman. We see blood start to run down her legs, she collapses and it cuts to men fighting in a war. Many are wounded but we see that one group makes it out and manages to help one of the guys get back home. When he gets there, the villagers act weird. Turns out that his wife died in childbirth and the whole village knows and won't tell him. His friends find out and try to tell him, sort of, I think. She starts to haunt them because they try to take her husband away from her.  The twist is that he knew  she was dead nearly the whole time, but didn't care because he loved her so much. He pretended he didn't know to make her happy. Somehow looking back through your legs lets you see if someone is a ghost/dead or not because that seems to be how the husband and one of his friends each knew. Overall, it seems like it could be a really freaky horror movie but as this one was a comedy, it was quite enjoyable.

Going back to my 6th grade trip, I was reminded that we watched the mummy and I was freaked out the whole time. I don't recall having gotten much of any sleep, I think we watched movies and talked the whole night so it's kind of a remarkable thing to me that I already hear snoring and not a single whisper from these kids. If only I can be so fortunate as to also catch some zzzzs, I will be satisfied. Good night all. 

830 am Saturday--

We are now apparently headed for Hall of Fame, a wax museum like a Thai Madame Toussaude's... I am intrigued. Not sure what the day holds entirely, as while I have the schedule I still can't read Thai. But I am working on that. They've been playing karaoke songs with both the characters and the phonetic English spelling so I've been trying to follow along somewhat and learn new things. 

We were woken up at quarter past 6 after fitful and shitty bus sleep, and I don't know if a coffee ocean would be big enough today. But Ami and I agree that it's too early for thinking and have been small talking instead. 

We stopped at a temple here to clean up and grab something to eat or coffee or what have you and yet again I have been surprised by these kids. That they were basically allowed with no supervision to run around and find food or do whatever for like an hour is very... different. I am definitely not used to the level of personal responsibility bestowed on 13 year olds that still act like, well, 13 year olds. I was not allowed this kind of freedom at 11 (thinking again on my New York City trip)  and I don't think any American teachers would allow their kids the same freedom these kids are capable of retaining. I suppose it's another one of those cultural peculiarities. 

230

I can now scratch several more things off my bucket list. While I still have yet to pet a monkey, I have now seen about half a hundred up close and have been chased down a hill by one. Of course I have (a few) pictures.

The "Thai human imagery" museum was creepy.  It was only one building with a sort of market-y area outside, complete with karaoke. Nothing is Thailand is anything if there isn't karaoke. We stayed there about an hour and then were back on the bus, this time to the former palace of Rama IV I think.... It was pretty interesting, an abandoned concrete monkey house now. The monkeys are everywhere, and they are aggressive. I had an empty coffee cup that many of them were trying to intimidate me and steal when I first got there, until I found a bin to throw it away. Win! On the way back down the mountain, a couple of monkeys managed to get two water bottles from the girls we were escorting. As I tried to take a picture of one of them, he all of a sudden decided I was not worthy of his sidewalk water (he'd unscrewed the cap and poured all the water on the ground to drink it), so he started to approach me, teeth bared. He got within about 6in and I realized probably was not going to stop, so I screamed like a wuss and ran to the bottom of the hill. Char said she thought that was the fastest she'd ever seen me move. 

I also have now had the famed Thai Coke-in-a-plastic-bag. And it has been the tastiest and least flat/syrupy Coke so far. I think that also counts as a win. The little vendor man shoveled ice into a plastic bag, cracked open a glass bottle, and poured it in. Then he shoved a straw through the ice and that was that. 

630pm Sunday

Today was spent at Dream World, what Thailand refers to as a theme park. My first thought upon seeing it was "oh, that's cute." These kids would lose their shit if ever they could go to 6 Flags. First I was wearing my harem pants but since it was so hot I decided it would be a better choice to wear my jeans again. By the time I had changed, Ben Alli and Char were inside and in line for something without me. I'd wanted to spend the day getting to know Ami better so it seemed I got my wish. We ate lunch, then went to ride some rides. First was a water ride called Grand Canyon. If we weren't soaked enough after that,  we got on Splash Mountain which finished the job. We were soaked to the bone but it was so much fun. We paused in the 4d show (a super cheesy short film about a guy in a lab that makes mutant bugs that flew out of the screen) on our way to the bus change into dry clothes. When we got back to the park, we stopped in the Giant's house and then walked to the Haunted House. Ami and I were both too wussy to go in just the two of us, so we waited until a group came along and eased into the middle of it. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it was pretty creepy when they'd shut off the lights for a few seconds and choose right after they lit again to have something jump right out at you. Ami spent the whole house with a death grip on my arm, and I spent it shoving into the guy in front of me and ducking under my hat brim.

We were at the park for around 5 hours, which seems now like an overly long time. The kids had a blast though, and so did I. It was a great time, and I'm really glad I got to hang out with Ami. 

We're now in the bus on the way home, music blasting. Thank god for ear plugs. Several things I have figured out about Thai music: they love canned beats. We've been listening to a CD of what sounds like the same song over and over. It's not though, I asked. They also love voice overs. And the whinier the singer, the better. Makes me want to claw my ears out sometimes. Friday night they turned everything off around 11... I can only hope they do the same tonight.

His name is Tata

So I really didn't have any classes today either. Out of the 3 I was supposed to have, one didn't show up, one I only taught a mini-lesson, and the last asked to leave early so they could get lunch before the procession. It was the beginning of a Buddhist holiday, and a day during which the kids took large candles that they had carved designs into, placed them in an ornate parade float type thing, and walked in their various class groups to deliver them to Wats around the city. Ben, Char and I went to Wat Chang Si with the green group. We tagged along with Char's Thai little sisters. It was an interesting and intensely hot walk. There were several sign holders, a group behind them holding offerings, then dancers behind them, the parade float being pulled and pushed that had the candle and several students perched atop it, and following behind were about 100-odd students. When we got to the Wat they all sat and prayed. Ben, Char and I left before the end and headed back to school. Char and Ben had to go travel, Ben to Chiang Mai and Char to Pattaya. Alli and I will be headed to Chiang Mai ourselves tomorrow.

Today, we went to walking street with one of my Thai little sisters, Jar, and a couple of her friends. Alli and I were on a mission to find Tata, one of our coworkers, a graduation present. It took us a little while but we finally found a kitschy photo holder that would suffice. We went after Walking Street to Tata's graduation party, which was at his house about a block and a half from the school. Holy karaoke. Seriously, from the time we got there until about 4 hours later when we left, so much Thai karaoke. They kept trying to get us to sing so we found a couple of English songs we knew to sing. Otherwise it was a time full of drinking and hilarity. Our little Japanese teacher man friend, Ryoma, was there and his English is "very casual." We got to hear him call himself a "real motha-fucka," and another teacher "bitch-ass," which I wish I could relay to you in his heavy Japanese accent. He learned most of his English from rap songs, he tells us. Ryoma got Tata a Doraemon bookbag like a 5 year old would wear. Tata wore it the entire night, and insisted every time Ryoma said his name that he instead be addressed as "Doraemon."

By the end of the party, Tata's father had invited me, Ryoma, and Alli to drink his Johnnie Walker with him at his table. While Alli and I were anxious at first, we definitely agreed by the end of the party that it was a good life choice. We cannot unhear the way Ryoma said some American curse words (hilarious... "Pan-ze-ass!"). My face still hurts from laughing, and we had a great if not fully awkward time at a Thai coworker's graduation party. 

Full week of classes... What's that?

So, there's yet another event at the school this week. We're hosting a nation-wide basketball tournament. For the past two days, we went from 50 minute classes to 40 minute classes so the kids could go rehearse for the opening ceremony. Today, we are also on a 40 minute schedule, but if the kids ask to go to watch the games we can give them permission. If we want to. Hah.

I went up for my first class, and 8 of my kids showed. I sat at the desk waiting for about 10 minutes when one of them came up to me and told me that the boys were away at camp (some JROTC thing I think), and "could they... free... to... to... cheer! To cheer at basketball?" So of course I said no, get your butts in this class by golly I'll just teach the 8 of you. 

In another dimension, maybe. I didn't really feel like teaching today anyway hahaha. I'm glad this country likes to make it easy on me. I had another class right after that one, but I waited for about 25 minutes and nobody showed. Finally I was on my way back to the office when I hear someone call down at me from the floor I'd just been waiting on. "Oh, teachaaaa!" they called. There were only 3 of them, and the others stopped along the sidewalk as they'd just been on their way to the stairs. I just waved and pointed, didn't even bother making them ask. When they understood their faces just beamed and they all bowed and said "Thank you teachaa! Thaaaaank you!" 

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

I've gone to watch some of these games, and there are some BIG girls on these basketball teams. Thailand is really not a land of short people.

And as stated in the title, I have yet to have a single week since I got here in which I have seen every one of my classes I was supposed to. 

On another bright note, one of my classes has specifically asked me to teach them tenses (like past continuous and perfect tenses), because apparently they had them on the midterm and didn't know them. I love it when they know what they want me to teach, it helps me immensely.

Yesterday Dr. Nirund and Maaw Pet and Dr. Walker and his wife Beth all came for a short meeting and a visit. The meeting at school seemed pretty good, they just asked how we were fitting in, how our teaching was. Then we went out to dinner. Naturally, we took them to one of our favorite places that we can't afford very often... It was delicious, we all just ordered something and passed it around. We had chicken with cashews, a sweet and sour fish dish, pork spareribs (some with garlic, yum!), pad thai with omlette, frog in curry sauce (yes, frog, and it was also delicious), panko shrimp with chili sauce... There were more dishes but I forget what. And we got french fries, one of the few things I crave that I can actually get. Since it was Alli's birthday, Maaw Pet surprised her with a cake and bouquet of roses. It was really sweet. And I never say no to more cake!

Past few weeks in a nutshell

So, not a lot has happened within the past few weeks that I really felt was blog-worthy, but I'll admit to a few interesting incidents.

Firstly, we no longer have the motorbike. I spent a day or so trying to convince Ben of the fact that we didn't really need it. It's an unnecessary expense, and we really don't need one to get around. In addition, it's cheaper to just catch a songtaew to Chiang Mai for 17 baht than to spend 140 baht on a tank of gas for the round trip. So we go out with a fellow teacher one day after school, june 30th-ish i think, just kind of bar hopping like we like to do occasionally. Finally we end up at a club about 5 miles from our house called Rodeo. Ben got mad at me for the whole bike thing and ended up leaving me there in a bit of a huff around 1130pm. I was fine, I was still with the other teacher so I had a safe ride home and all.  I got home around 3 and the bike wasn't there. I wasn't in a state to think too hard on it so I just went to bed. Saturday morning I wake up to a message from Alli that Ben crashed and was in the hospital. He's fine, he just got a bit of road rash and needed a few stitches on his face. Because, guess what? He was a dumbass and was not wearing his helmet (like I had nagged him to many, many a time before). Anyhow, he was really, really lucky. No broken bones, no concussion, no missing teeth, just a bit banged up. But the bike was a little less fortunate. Ben managed to crush the exhaust pipe and dent the exhaust itself, as well as scratch up a mirror and a few of the panels. 4,000 baht worth of repairs later, he returned the bike to the nice Dutch gentleman in Chiang Mai we'd rented it from. 

My birthday week was pretty fun, from July 1-4 I had at least one group of classes a day sing me happy birthday. On the fourth, my "friendship family," two girls in year M.5 that are my "Thai little sisters" surprised me with a cake. Alli, Char and I had stepped out of the office on our way to lunch when we ran into the group of M.5 EPDP (English development and promotion, like AP) girls. They asked us where we were going and kind of hung around expectantly. I wasn't sure if they were going to ask us to go to the canteen with them or what, but Char paused just outside in the courtyard because the Japanese program was having a little festival activity thing. The girls asked us again where we were going and then said "Oh, teacher... You wait here, please?" So I turn around from watching Char write a wish on a piece of paper to hang from one of the trees, and there is the whole group of girls, with a cake. They started singing happy birthday as soon as I turned around and I almost started crying it was so stinkin' cute. They didn't have any plates, but Ausma (pronounced Ah-shma) brought out a handful of spoons and handed them out. They let me get the first bite and then asked " oh, teacher, is it ok?" Again, so cute. So we all just stood around, me and a group of like 8 or 9 teenaged Thai girls, digging our spoons into this 6" white cake. And it was DELICIOUS.

This past week at school was midterms. I can't believe I'm already 1/4 of the way into this teaching gig. Yikes! Anyhow, no classes, yay, but we did have to proctor for 3 days out of the 5. Luckily, Alli and I both ended up getting Monday free from proctoring, and Jimbo and Luke invited us out to a day on the lake that was a maiden voyage of sorts for a farang who is trying to start that as a business. We got picked up from Lamphun around 930 and headed down to Lampang to the Kiu Lom Dam where the boat was. I was definitely expecting more of a yacht type deal, some sort of motorboat like you normally see in the states. Well, this was not that kind of boat. Nor was it really a lake, actually. More a dammed river. The "boat" was more like a porch on pontoons with a little motor on the back. 

We took off our shoes right by the entrance and sat at at one of the plastic tables and the boat puttered its way down the river. We sat with Jimbo and some of his friends from Chiang Mai, just drinking beer and eating delicious curry and spare-ribs. All FREE, the best price! We stopped a little ways and explored some caves, one of which had a Buddhist shrine in it. The rest were full of bats but really pretty natural rock formations. We were told they were also haunted, but we really didn't stick around long enough to find out. Apparently, monks who are on their way through will stop at the shrine and pay homage to the Buddha and the other monk statues there.

At our turn around point, we stopped along a cliff face. It was super beautiful, really peaceful and relaxing. Jimbo jumped in the water for a swim and I was not far behind. The water was perfect. I was only a little disappointed to find that we were the only ones inclined for a dip. The stop was too short. After about 10 minutes, we climbed back up onto the boat and got back underway towards the dam. The trip in all was about 4-6 hours, although admittedly I was more interested in the beer and homemade Thai food than the time. We were bussed back to Lamphun, where Alli and I found ourselves on a tipsy walk downtown to a new noodle shop and had dinner. Delicious. 

All in all, it's been a pretty good few weeks. We've got a full week of classes, as far as I know, and then we have a long weekend coming up. There's a Buddhist holiday on Monday and Tuesday the 22nd and 23rd, so we're already planning our shenanigans. Will try to be more forthcoming with blog posts. Also, this one will have added pictures soon but that's easier to do on my computer than my iPad.